Thursday, September 19, 2013

The dreams or plans I had for myself fall vastly short in comparison to the plans God has had for me all along. I could have never imagined this life I'm living. I am blessed beyond words with a wonderful husband, three precious kids, and an exciting homeschool journey. Looking back to where this all began close to sixteen years ago, I had various corporate jobs bouncing around to different fortune five hundred companies. I even did a good bit of traveling for work the first few years of our marriage. I don't miss those days. I don't miss that life. In that moment I did not mind it so much. Back then I thought having the nice house and the new cars were so important. I had the mindset that we needed to acquire a certain level of wealth before beginning certain phases of life. Thankfully some wise friends informed me that the problem with waiting for the perfect bank account or that just perfect moment of all the ducks in a row is the fact that we are living in an imperfect world. Things will never be perfect. Life will pass you by while you wait. I started to realize the truth in those words. We had our first son in January of 2001 and I began to grow less enchanted with climbing the corporate ladder. Babies have a way of helping you instantly put things into perspective. I do believe that's all part of God's design. Nothing else really truly makes me ponder the bigger questions in life like I do when I'm looking at the sweet children God knit together in my womb. After the tragedy of September 11, 2001 things became even clearer. I felt the pressures of life being in this rat race. My baby boy was growing up so fast before my eyes. How much of his life was I missing because I was stuck in the rut of working overtime to keep up with the workload? I came to a crossroads where I knew God was allowing me to feel these pressures and trials to bring about changes. These plans were not His plans. This was not where I was supposed to be. I began to seek God out. Begging Him to show me where we were supposed to be. What were we supposed to be doing? God does not always answer my prayers how I hope, but this is one of those definite moments that I knew without any doubt that God was moving swiftly in our lives. I had asked what His plans were. I asked where we were supposed to be and He answered. I still remember to this day being confident about where God was taking us. From very early on I always felt called to work with children. I had even pursued a college degree in education hoping to one day be an elementary school teacher. After three years under my belt towards that degree I became distracted. Life threw challenges my way and I got lazy about school. College was expensive. When a full time job came my way making nearly as much if not more than what I would teaching I lost sight of that dream. This factor topped with the immediate payoff of not having to finish my degree is the lie I told myself back then. All the while, meeting my soon to be husband in the mix and the rest is history. College dreams got tossed aside along with the passion and dreams about working with children. After the birth of my son those dreams began to resurface. I know that God gives us all gifts. Life is so much richer when we can use those gifts to serve him. I began asking God to help me use those gifts where He wanted me to. Over the last ten years God has brought us on this amazing journey. My husband and I served side by side at a children's home. We raised our boys along side us while we worked. We got to be part of the lives of some amazing children and adults. Friendships that were made in the time we worked there will last this lifetime and the next. Now God has called me on to a different journey. The one of homeschooling our kids. While this plan is not one that I originally imagined for us, I am so very glad to be where we are. Just when I thought our lives were complete and full God brought our precious daughter into our lives. At that moment I was terrified and feeling inadequate for the job of mothering a baby a third time around in what I was convinced through and through was too old an age to be having a another baby. Were if not for God's endless grace and mercy, I would have never made it through. God is good and He is faithful! Sometimes it's when I am weakest that I finally remember that I cannot do it on my own. I don't have to do it on my own. He is here. He is real! He loves me!! He takes care of me. His providence still leaves me speechless when I truly think about the moments He has carried us through. Fast forward to a little over sixteen years later and here I am homeschooling two fiery boys while doing my best to keep up with an ever inquisitive two year old. Life is GOOD!

This is going to be an exciting school year. I choose joy. I choose to make it a joyful school year because that's what God calls me to do. Choose joy. My biggest goal for this school year is to choose joy continually. Joy was also meant to be an action. I can chose to feel joyful or I can choose the alternative. What better way to model to my family God's light than to strive to live for Him daily. I have been blessed so richly and I'm tired of wasting my moments. What about you? Are you choosing joy? Are you where you're supposed to be? I challenge you to ask God if you have any doubts! ** And one side note...that is just a toy my oldest is wearing, I promise!(the knife he has strapped to his belt for all his pictures) It takes much bribery to get a tween to willingly pose for photos!